Perhaps it’s just part of getting older, but the reality of my fate seems to occupy my mind more as time passes. Learning to accept that my physical body has limitations and I am not immune to its failings… not one of us are.

We all grew up learning that with a well balanced diet and exercise, we could live a long and healthy life. And while this is true in many ways, the reality is that so much of what we encounter is outside of our control. 

I remember the night my wife and I sat across from an emergency room doctor who told us of a failure within our son’s body; one that would require medical intervention 24/7 going forward. At the age of 6, his life would never be the same.

Or the morning I woke up with no sight in my right eye. The weeks that followed came with the inability to perform basic functions easily. Thankfully, the vision did return, but it has never quite recovered to its right state.

As a father, the lack of control in these situations is incredibly frustrating; as a man, it is truly frightening.

Over the years, health challenges have seemed abundant in our family; at times feeling endless. I have often questioned whether our experiences were a result of something I did, or didn’t do; our minds have a strange way of twisting things around on us and stealing our hope.

On the outside, while I may have appeared to be handling things well, it was near impossible for me to remain stable on the inside; experiencing anxiety most days. Truthfully, I was simply unprepared when these situations hit.

In time, I came to realize I was spending so much energy worrying over the things I couldn’t control, that I had been overlooking the one thing I could… my spiritual health.

Yet when I shifted my focus, I came to find I wasn’t in good shape here either. Due to a lack of discipline and genuine focus on my spiritual life, I had let my heart be filled with things that didn’t allow for God’s Spirit to flow through my veins easily. When these critical moments arose, it was like a blocked artery that was not allowing His peace to circulate my heart, mind and soul.

Like most self-induced health conditions, this blockage didn’t form overnight; it took time to build up. It was many seemingly small and poor choices, over the course of years, that slowly hardened my heart. Before I knew it, I was fighting things in my own strength, and losing at every turn.

The symptoms were devastating; from stress and frustration, to panic attacks that embarassingly laid me, a grown man, on the floor. I had to discover the hard way how critical my condition had become before turning to God to heal me.

This healing I learned, was not a one-time procedure; it was, and is, daily surrender to Him who knows my needs better then I do.

Ezekial 36:26 tells us that God will give us ‘a new heart’ and put a ‘new spirit’ in us. It goes on to say that He will remove our ‘heart of stone’ and give us a ‘heart of flesh’

While our physical heart keeps us living, in and of itself, it is nothing more than an organ within our body; which like others, is at risk of failing. It is not until God gives us a new heart deep within, that we truly come alive; knowing confidently that He will never fail us, regardless of life’s circumstances that we have no control over.

Only with His hand over our heart can we experience healing, peace and renewal.